I found this note when I was cleaning my room :
"I hold my tears as I heard you said, "No, it wasn't me. Sorry."
I didn't know what happened to me. I felt like my heartbeat was stopped. I felt like the air were heavier than it was. Slowly I stepped backward. I felt like I almost fainted. I walked away and sat on the floor. I hold my tears and the air around me got hotter. Finally I cried, without any noise. My tears just fell down like the rain outside the building.
Why did I cried? I knew ** would said that. Then, why did I cried? Maybe I was just expecting too much from ***. I knew that I must be patient and wait until the time...
Ganbatte, Helsa!
I know it, I feel it, and I want to keep it.
But if ** don't,
Will it last long?
I don't care. :)
Be strong, keep your faith and
LET IT ALL FLOW :D"
Maybe that was a thorn diary? I don't remember I ever wrote them (‾˛‾")
Jumat, 03 Februari 2012
Painfut, yet sweet
whenever hatred fills my heart,
I recall those fragments.
Those flying butterflies inside my stomach.
Secretly wishing for the time to bring them back.
But, hatred.
Confused between hatred and dissappointment.
Overwhelmed in confusion,
The pain hurts even more.
Which way should I step on?
Should I defend?
Then tell me why? How?
I realize that I always hold my breath as I try to,
The pain even hurts more.
Suffocating in despair,
Feeling miserable that time couldn't flow back.
The pain even hurts more,
One step on getting further from me, and I'll dissappear.
Should I retreat?
Then tell me why? How?
Turning my back from those shadows,
Facing those gray mist.
The pain even hurts more,
As the dream became sweeter.
Alluring me to stand again.
And fall once more.
Craving another scar that'll lead me to the ocean of tears.
Or should I attack?
Then tell me why? How?
I have nothing.
Only those fake smile, fake laugh,
When those shadows appeared before my eyes.
The pain hurts even more,
As I realize it was pointless.
Those blank expression,
Those tremor they made,
I feel vulnerable.
The pain hurts even more,
When you gave me THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE! Argh!
I recall those fragments.
Those flying butterflies inside my stomach.
Secretly wishing for the time to bring them back.
But, hatred.
Confused between hatred and dissappointment.
Overwhelmed in confusion,
The pain hurts even more.
Which way should I step on?
Should I defend?
Then tell me why? How?
I realize that I always hold my breath as I try to,
The pain even hurts more.
Suffocating in despair,
Feeling miserable that time couldn't flow back.
The pain even hurts more,
One step on getting further from me, and I'll dissappear.
Should I retreat?
Then tell me why? How?
Turning my back from those shadows,
Facing those gray mist.
The pain even hurts more,
As the dream became sweeter.
Alluring me to stand again.
And fall once more.
Craving another scar that'll lead me to the ocean of tears.
Or should I attack?
Then tell me why? How?
I have nothing.
Only those fake smile, fake laugh,
When those shadows appeared before my eyes.
The pain hurts even more,
As I realize it was pointless.
Those blank expression,
Those tremor they made,
I feel vulnerable.
The pain hurts even more,
When you gave me THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE! Argh!
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